Monday, September 1, 2014

The Tweets Smell of Excess

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Following his stunning admission that his administration pays so little attention to ISIS that "we have no strategy," Barack Obama attended a fundraiser (surprise!) and said that the real reason people are terrified by terror threats and "feel like the world is falling apart" is because "the world has always been messy [but] we're just noticing now because of social media."

In other words, the world hasn't really gone to hell during Barry's two terms as president - it just seems that way because we're paying too much attention!

You can prove this phenomenon to yourself quite easily: turn off your computer, your smartphone, your radio, and your television...and you'll stop hearing worrisome news about ISIS, terrorists crossing our southern borders, Russian aggression, Hamas, and the wildfire spread of Ebola.  And this great relaxation technique works even better if you happen to be on a golf course!

Sadly, there are some people who continue to pay waaaay too much attention to social media, like British Prime Minister David Cameron who just said "ISIL is a greater threat to our security than we have ever seen before." Similarly, our own Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel shows signs of Twitter overexposure when he says that ISIS is "an imminent threat to every interest we have [and is] beyond anything that we've seen."

Clearly, these nervous Nellies need to take the wise advice that Barack Obama once gave Lois Lerner: "Destroy every communications device you've ever touched!"

Because, like a fallen tree in an empty forest, if a journalist is beheaded and nobody tweets about it, it doesn't make a sound. 

Or require a strategy.

Bonus Cartoon: Border CrISIS

Among the news stories that Obama is actively ignoring in the "social media" are reports of a possibly imminent terrorist attack on the United States from the southern border.

Intelligence sources say there is increased "chatter" suggesting that such an attack might be carried out to commemorate the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks.

And frankly, Hope n' Change is glad that the intelligence agencies are raising the alarm now since, as demonstrated by the deaths of Americans in Benghazi, it never occurred to anyone in Obama's entire freaking administration that September 11th just might be a day each year to be especially vigilant.

Friday, August 29, 2014

Situation Comedy

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Following the Herculean labors of his golfing vacation, a handful of fundraisers, and attendance at a bachelor party, a seemingly tireless Barack Hussein Obama jumped right back into the presidential saddle on Thursday with a visit to the Situation Room.

The purpose of his visit was a meeting with the National Security Council to discuss the Russian military's increased attacks on Ukraine.  Unfortunately, the president initially voiced support for the Russian aggression, saying Ukraine "had it coming" for having hosted the "crude anti-Islamic video which incited the entirely spontaneous Benghazi attack."

But once the difference between Ukraine and YouTube was explained to him, the president forcefully declared the importance of putting Russia back in its place by means of a four-part plan consisting of "standing firmly with our allies," "seeking justice," "launching an investigation," and "blaming Bush."

No specific timetable was given for the plan's implementation - although it was suggested by a White House spokesperson that the president would make development of such a timetable an urgent priority following his next vacation.

The president also used his meeting with the National Security Council to discuss every detail of the huge and growing terrorist threat from ISIS (the "JV team") with the best and brightest minds available (Valerie Jarrett's "VJ team").

After which he held a brief news conference in which he announced to the world - and especially to ISIS - the conclusions reached by this remarkable braintrust: "we don't have a strategy yet."

Nor, it would appear, a freaking clue about how to deal with critical foreign affairs or our national security.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Slow Lerner

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Even though the news cycle is currently consumed by sexy stories about beheadings and police shootings,  the massive and ongoing IRS scandal still holds interest for a few news-obsessive folks who fret about little things like freedom of speech and a widespread criminal conspiracy in which government officials, almost certainly with the president's blessing, attacked We The People.

Which is why Hope n' Change finds it pretty darned interesting that, in response to the latest FOIA discovery actions by the good people at Judicial Watch, the IRS has been forced to admit that they've actually had backups of Lois Lerner's "missing" emails all along, kept in a super-duper catastrophe-proof computer which was intended to help rebuild the world in case, following some nightmarish disaster, survivors would find it helpful to read Lerner's witty attacks on conservatives.

Unfortunately, the IRS says that pulling any useful information out of the backup system is so ridiculously difficult that it would be "too onerous" to even attempt. Which, when you think about it, makes the End of the World Computer a pretty good joke-in-waiting on those poor SOBs who'll be relying on it following the zombie apocalypse.

But the existence of Ms. Lerner's emails in the Doomsday File Server isn't the only recently-revealed news about the case. Because we now know that Ms. Lerner used her government-issued Blackberry for a lot of correspondence, and it's easy-peasy to get old emails off a Blackberry!

Unless, of course, the IRS erased its memory after the congressional investigation started heating up, conveniently "forgot" to check for or backup any of the emails, and then sold the device for scrap.

Frankly, with all of the blatant destruction of evidence taking place, Hope n' Change is somewhat surprised that no one from the administration has visited Lois Lerner in the dark of night to perform an ice pick lobotomy and destroy the last bit of memory which might imperil the president.

Then again, maybe they're just waiting for a really busy news day when the story would be ignored - just like every other incriminating revelation to date.