Friday, September 19, 2014
Hope n' Change has been considering the institution of "Good News Fridays" in which we help kick off your weekend with happy, uplifting, optimistic news items. Unfortunately, this is unlikely to become a regular feature because it doesn't seem like there is much good news lately, and the odds of it happening on any given Friday are about as likely as Barack Obama spontaneously singing "God Bless America" at one of his $100,000 a plate fundraisers.
That being said, there was good-ish news from Australia yesterday, after some 800 federal and state police officers raided and rounded up a group of Islamic State terrorists who were about to move on their plans to start grabbing ordinary Aussies off the streets, behead them, then distribute videos of the brutal murders on social media sites.
But Hope n' Change has a better idea.
Now that these wankers have been caught, how about putting them into the ring with really skilled boxing kangaroos, and then release the video of the terrorists getting the ever-loving crap knocked out of them!
Not only would the terrorists lose face (perhaps literally) in the eyes of the world, but it would make for some great video. In a world that desperately needs good news, it's time something went viral other than ebola.
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Per the cartoon above, we're actually glad that the president is committing 3000 troops to the fight against ebola - we're just surprised that he was able to do it without lecturing us about the many cultural and scientific contributions ebola made to helping us land a man on the moon.
On the plus side, while we still don't know who exactly is to blame for the death of Ambassador Chris Stevens, we at least know who it was that defiled his corpse.
Monday, September 15, 2014
When the news is grim, it's nice to know that we can always count on Nancy Pelosi to give us a laugh. Granted, it's the kind of nerve-shredding laugh that the demented Renfield cackled in "Dracula" while raving about eating spiders and flies, but still - we'll take levity where we find it.
In this case, Nancy (who is at least as nuts as Renfield was) appeared on the Bill Maher show to talk about the ass-kicking her party expects in the upcoming midterms. According to Ms. Pelosi, highly satisfied Democrats won't come to the polls because "fear is a motivator and we are not fear-mongers. The Democrats are messengers of hope."
So, what was her non-fear-mongering hope-filled message for Maher's audience? “Civilization as we know it today would be in jeopardy if the Republicans win the Senate.” Yikes!
Indeed, the seven signs of the Democrat Apocalypse will be upon us: Bills would actually get debated in the Senate, budgets would be written again, the worst parts of Obamacare could be repealed, meaningful immigration reform could take place, full investigations of scandals like Benghazi and the IRS would finally happen, the abuse of presidential "privilege" could be checked, and Harry Reid would have to go back to sleeping in an earth-filled coffin during daylight hours.
In other words, it will be Civilization as we'd like to know it again.
In case you were wondering what made us think about Renfield...